Monday, January 27, 2014

How United States Copyright Law Works, a satirical poem by Chris W

How United States Copyright Law Works

"Why, look," said the man, "it's almost 2023! And, I, Mr. Lawyer, represent Walt Disney."
"Good to see you, kind sir," the lawyer did say. "And what might I do for you on this fine day?"
"Well, you see," said the other, "I'll have to explain… Steamboat Willie's 'bout to enter the public domain!"
The lawyer jolted back, shocked, what a horrible thing! Why, imagine the cultural good it might bring!

"I understand," he then said, "what you need me to do: take a new bill to Congress and somehow force it through.
"This new bill," he divulged, "will be clever and shrewd, and will certainly get your copyright renewed.
"We'll extend all copyright for another twenty-odd years. Corporations like Disney will need not have fears.
"If we can, with success, undertake this endeavor, you'll be able to profit off Mickey forever!"

The response was, "That's brilliant! Without doubt, I love it! Those criminal lawmakers sure won't be above it!"

Thus Congress was trampled by lawyers and lobbyists, who twisted the law at expense of all hobbyists.
To the lawyers, the P.D. was not quite as critical as money and cash and such things political.
Spineless legislators were all easily swayed, and those who cared about American culture dismayed.
How could people create without a public domain, full of works to be used without lawsuits or pain?

How could nobody see Disney's blatant hypocrisy? They were forcing their way by corrupting democracy!
Snow White, wasn't that story from the public domain? Disney really did have zero right complain.
By using such stories, they made mountains of money, and what they were then doing was not at all funny.
The irony of it all was totally whack: Disney took from the P.D. and never gave back.

The lobbyists came, and they did come in flocks; the case seemed to have opened up Pandora's box.
Walt's cronies weren't lonely, there were others there, too. (Ain't there money to be made off of Rhapsody in Blue?)
Money and votes; weren't they the same thing? Didn't matter, green paper made you practically king.
And thus copyright was extended for some number of years, leaving all those with common sense bursting to tears.

Years passed.

The cycle continued with no end in sight, for money to Disney meant legislative might.
Who'd stand to oppose them in a few more years, eh? With enough of the moolah, they'd always get their way.

They might have realized what they were doing. Nobody else did.

In the end, Steamboat Willie would enter the public domain never,
And good ol' Walt would control U.S. copyright law forever.


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